30 Apr 2008, 23:21
Nicked from the VODC Forum as I thought this was too funny not to share 
I am assured that this is true ...Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping.
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, I am considering banning you and your family from the store, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the anti-depressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously,loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. December 21: When an announcement came over theloud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed"NO! NO! It's those voices again."
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."
Yours sincerely,
Charles Brown
Store Manager
Cheers,
I am assured that this is true ...Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping.
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, I am considering banning you and your family from the store, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the anti-depressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously,loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. December 21: When an announcement came over theloud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed"NO! NO! It's those voices again."
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."
Yours sincerely,
Charles Brown
Store Manager
Cheers,
Claire Wright - Club Treasurer
Jul 1981 DeLorean - Flopsy #2292
Aug 1989 Cavalier 1.6L - Guinney
Apr 2021 Mokka-e Launch Edition - Evie
#170
Jul 1981 DeLorean - Flopsy #2292
Aug 1989 Cavalier 1.6L - Guinney
Apr 2021 Mokka-e Launch Edition - Evie
#170